you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize