he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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