TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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