You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
false alarm, still single
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize