Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it's great music for shaving your balls
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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