He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What drink are we having for lunch?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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