Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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