I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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