Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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