whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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