I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
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Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize