just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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