i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
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I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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