She said her name was "party"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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