Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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