I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
