so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
