i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize