i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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