what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
