PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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