those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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