Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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