After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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