Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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