I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.