Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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