We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
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We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
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Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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