i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He just brought a live lobster to the party.