Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober