I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
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i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
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Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed