You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His hands were made for my vagina.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.