Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on