what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head