I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Vodka?
Forever.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
