Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
zippers are such a cool invention
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I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
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I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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