I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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