I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail