yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.