Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.

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  (410): the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina. http://tfl.nu/o3ng
  Replies (13) Good night (2394) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  i dont think thats weird i think thats fun

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird

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  (401): he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places. (1-401): i dont think thats weird i think thats fun (401): i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird http://tfl.nu/88jj
  Replies (11) Good night (575) Bad night (1998)
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  (559): View more from California

  my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.

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  (559): my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too. http://tfl.nu/gf0r
  Replies (10) Good night (4434) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.

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  (818): I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here. http://tfl.nu/5v02
  Replies (19) Good night (675) Bad night (4720)
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  (646): View more from New York

  You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....

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  (646): You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing.... http://tfl.nu/xrxl
  Replies (3) Good night (4192) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...

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  (563): i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes... http://tfl.nu/mlmh
  Replies (28) Good night (5122) Bad night (829)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer

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  (706): He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer http://tfl.nu/ep3s
  Replies (11) Good night (4210) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.

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  (317): After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now. http://tfl.nu/z4u1
  Replies (38) Good night (815) Bad night (8702) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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  (902): Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands. http://tfl.nu/svno
  Replies (16) Good night (3324) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.

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  (949): Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices. http://tfl.nu/flw8
  Replies (6) Good night (2960) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning

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  (519): we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/bwa3
  Replies (9) Good night (3974) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?

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  (513): I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out? http://tfl.nu/sosx
  Replies (6) Good night (1345) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth

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  (602): I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth http://tfl.nu/7hav
  Replies (5) Good night (1269) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face

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  (319): I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face http://tfl.nu/7v6p
  Replies (9) Good night (1595) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"

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  (858): He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup" http://tfl.nu/blqz
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt

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