If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk