I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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