My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize