just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
