just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
