By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
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I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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