I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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