Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So much rum. So many feels.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
