I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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