I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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