I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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