just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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