It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
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The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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