Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
