My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize