She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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