If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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