Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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